Please help in any way you can

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Typhoon in the Philippines

(Info borrowed from UCB CSEAS)

How To Help

Typhoon Haiyan (or Typhoon Yolanda) hit the central Philippines on November 9, killing thousands and affecting millions. The typhoon also caused significant damage in Vietnam. International organizations and NGOs are coordinating support for relief efforts in the Philippines.

BAY AREA RESPONSE

THURSDAY, November 14 – Radio stations KCBS All News 740AM/106.9FM, Alice@97.3, LIVE 105 and 99.7 NOW and TV stations KPIX 5 and KBCW-TV will be taking donations for typhoon relief from 6:00 am to 7:00 pm this Thursday, with funds being directed to the Red Cross Typhoon Relief Fund. To donate during the fundraising drive, call 1-888-543-5778. Online donations also accepted here, or by mail to American Red Cross, Att’n: Moira Dowell, 1663 Market St., San Francisco, CA 94103 – write “Typhoon Appeal” on the check.

OTHER WAYS TO DONATE

USAID has posted information and links about the U.S. government relief efforts, with a guide to giving, on their website.

Other relief organizations:

Philippine Red Cross
UN Refugee Agency
US Fund for Unicef
World Food Programme
CARE
Catholic Relief Services
Habitat for Humanity
International Rescue Committee
Medecins Sans Frontiers/Doctors Without Borders
Oxfam America
Salvation Army
World Vision

Post MFA: Covering Residencies on November 20, 2:35-3:35 at Saint Mary’s College of CA

On Wednesday, November 20, 2:35-3:35 at Hagerty Lounge, Saint Mary’s College of California, yours truly will be part of an afternoon panel discussion on life after the MFA. Tapped to speak on residencies and colonies for 7-8 minutes, here’s some musings on what might be covered that afternoon, which we hope you can join.

Applying to Residencies

Why residencies? How does it sound to live, work, dine, and stroll with writers, artists, composers, dancers, choreographers for weeks or months? How about having food delivered to your door. Meeting for supper and a cocktail or two to talk shop about books, paintings, photography, and film? What of days and hours devoted solely to reading and reflecting on your work? Residencies in essence are a chance to hole away in some remote and often rural setting and remember what it means to read and create for the sake of reading and creating.

Hawthornden from the Lady Walk
Retreat for Writers, Hawthornden Castle, Scotland, UK.

There’s no magic formula I know of but years of practice, revision, and navigating rejection. I’ve been applying to residencies and colonies since grad school, so I’ve had almost seven years honing my artistic statement and project description(s), which have seen many incarnations. I’ve been through countless drafts and am constantly revising every artifact I send out to apply.

Maintain contact with professors from graduate school since they are the community who will support you through this creative journey, and be sure to make the recommendation letter process as easy as possible by giving at least two months advance notice with all the supplies already stamped and addressed, ready to post. Keep a short sample, CV, and statement handy if they request it to refresh their memory about you and your work.

344 Questions: The Creative Person's Do-It-Yourself Guide to Insight, Survival, and Artistic FulfillmentKeep refining both your artist statement/letter of intent and the writing sample. These are the two legs you’ll stand on when you face the faceless committee. Keep a list of questions and journal freewrites in response to keep the artist statement/letter of intent urgent and relevant. It should change as you evolve as a writer. I love this little gem of a book 344 Questions?: The Creative Person’s Do-It Yourself Guide to Insight, Survival, and Finding Artistic Fulfillment which I crack open every now and again just to exercise and play with portrayals of self. These musings come handy when piecing together and updating the artist statement.

  • Literature Summary Description (MacDowell Colony)

In two to five words, please describe the work you are proposing to do at the Colony. You will have an opportunity to describe the project in greater detail in the next step of the application. Examples: memoir, historical novel, short fiction, prose poetry.

In the space below, please provide a detailed description of the project you intend to work on at the Colony. If you have already begun the project, tell us where you are in the work process and what you hope to accomplish with your residency. The text field is limited to 2,500 characters including spaces.

  • Intended Project (MacDowell Colony)

Please provide a brief synopsis of the creative work you propose to write if offered a Residential Fellowship at Hawthornden. This may be work already in progress or work still in its infancy. You should be sure to mention any necessary research that you may need to undertake while in residence. Please limit your description to this sheet only.

While in Residence

Before I left for MacDowell, I got the best piece of advice from novelist and dear friend Mary Volmer who warned me not to place too much expectation or pressure on myself. “You’re not going to get everything you want done, but you will get what you need,” she urged, and she was right.

An hour feels like three in our studios. It’s amazing how much work you get done when you sit down to it, and let your mind settle with the tasks in front of you.

Some of the highlights are not just spending evenings talking with fellow artists but having a real

Mansfield Studio at MacDowell Colony in New Hampshire.
Mansfield Studio at MacDowell Colony in New Hampshire.

dialogue with your project. I found that once I was tucked into my cabin and allowed myself to reacquaint and essentially renew my vows to the craft and to the piece I’ve dedicated years of my life to, the project started speaking to me and telling me what needed to happen to it. I learned how to read and write all over again.

One of the many traditions practiced at the Colony is for fellows to give presentations of their work, whether it be a reading or an open studio, you’re encouraged to share your artistic endeavors. The idea wasn’t that appealing, really, until a fellow explained that its best to present earlier rather than later during residency so that other fellows will have much needed context in terms of why you’re here and what you’re doing. This context cements a substantive foundation to conversations at dinner, breakfast, random encounters on the hallway or on the way to the studio. The whole purpose of the colony is not just for individual, solitary work but to be a part of the community, and being a part of a community means sharing.

Mansfield Studio in the mist at MacDowell Colony
Mansfield Studio in the mist at MacDowell Colony

What to Bring

All your favorite creature comforts: chai tea, scented candles, warm socks, an eye mask, if you have trouble sleeping in strange places, blank pads of paper and post-its, permanent markers, push pins, chocolate, nice stationary and stamps to write to loved ones, a wall calendar to keep on task, a hard drive to back up regularly, a pocketknife, and gin, lots of gin or your personal choice of poison because you deserve it after a long day’s worth of reading and writing.

These websites are chock-a-block with listings of residencies and colonies:

http://www.artistcommunities.org/residencies

http://www.resartis.org/en/

For more insight on MacDowell click here, here and here and for Hawthorden click here.

Mark Your Calendars and Please Share Widely

Life after MFA

Excited to be a part of this panel that includes Brenda Hillman, Joshua Mohr, and Colby Gillete where we talk about residencies, publishing, and doctorate programs at Saint Mary’s College, Wednesday, November 20, 2:35-3:35pm, Hagerty Lounge. Please share with interested parties and consider coming out.

The Recipe for Good Writing: A Gin Martini, Guinness, and Ampalaya or How It Went Down at the Fil Am Book Fest Panel “Writing Our Way Home: Shaping Tradition, History and Culture”

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Saturday, October 19, the stars and planets aligned not just because of LitQuake but because the Fil Am Book Fest II took place at the San Francisco Public Library. In the space of a single day, yours truly was afforded the rare and exceptional chance to reconnect with the most inspiring writers and caring colleagues such as Barbara Jane Reyes, Oscar Bermeo, Jason Bayani, Marianne Villanueva, Emily Breunig, Candace Eros Diaz, Linda Nietes, and Cecilia Brainard, who has been so supportive, a true guiding light since the very start of this writer’s life. Later, the evening of LitCrawl would allow for a quick reunion in the Mission at Muddy Waters Cafe with Rosemary Graham, Marilyn Abilskov, and Brenda Hillman. To share even five minutes off duty and off campus talking about life and writing with each of these luminaries was enough to keep this starved and over-worked soul going for the rest of the year.

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The gravitational force who coordinated, collaborated, and made this rare celestial alignment possible was poet and professor and Festival Director Edwin Lozada who serves as President of the sponsoring organization PAWA Inc, and it was PAWA’s steering committee made this international festival a reality. Maraming salamat to Edwin and PAWA!

For the space of an hour, in the hushed setting of the Koret Auditorium with a crowd of fifty plus literarastes, I was honored to sit down and talk shop with Luisa Igloria, Jon Pineda, and Lysley Tenorio, moderating the panel “Writing Our Way Home: Shaping Tradition, History and Culture” as part of the Filipino American International Book Festival (Filbookfest 2)- Likhâ ng Lahi. Writing Our Way Home: Shaping Tradition, History and Culture. So how did it all go down?

We started with the beginning, when I asked the panelists, where do you start?

Igloria: Its more about finding time and a sense of place. Electronic devices allow her to write everywhere, so its a matter or carving out the space.
Pineda: Carries a journal, a $1 notebook and he fills the pages with characters. Not necessarily their physical attributes but what the character wants. He writes fully knowing he’s going to throw all of it  away, but this is the fastest way to start dreaming about his characters. Its just a matter of allowing himself to explore, and in essence fail.
Tenorio: His writing is generally plot-driven, and he gets ideas from strange but true intersections, Filipino and American and Filipino-American. He cited his work from the story “Monstress,” which was borne out of horrible B movies that were spliced together–the worst movies of all time. He needs a sense of a beginning and an ending with a story, and so long as he outlines a rough plot that gives him no excuse to get through a draft.

Since all writers mentioned the use of media, we moved to how media shaped their process or inspired their writing. 

Igloria: Added that she uses media for quick answers to quick questions. She appreciates the ease and portability of interfaces. The way we wrote five to eight years ago has completely changed, and she’s also open to new ideas of media though she stresses that our most basic sense of media, the sensory apparatus of ears, nose, and eyes, which we all carry are important to keep open.
Pineda: Admitted he’s a very visual person and loves Google maps. The interface is so amazing, allowing viewers to drop down to street level and take a closer look. Its a great tool to find stories. He cited a recent digital excursion where he explored Google Maps and saw the image of a young boy wearing a T-shirt and so obviously giving the finger to the Google car driving by. It was such an instance of giving back to the man. He also encouraged writers to explore historical preservation societies because they have archives that really capture a way of life in the past.

Tenorio: Tries not to write too of the moment with new media but work instead symbolically or metaphorically. For instance, he was recently writing an opening scene that features a webcam though the device at first seemed clunky he later found that it was way to explore the tension of the moment.

Igloria– Added that she appreciates the more open sense of collaboration that newer technology has allowed such as the medium of the video poem where film artists collaborate on the internet. It’s an interesting process to see another form of expression.

We then moved from media to the body and covered an excerpt from Pineda’s Apology because his novel was forefront in my mind and specifically this quote: “It was not a dream, though it felt like one. A beautiful piece of memory that could make him cry. Exequiel woke now, feverish. Out of his head. He summoned it from the faint scar woven in the bottom of his foot. A story hidden in the flesh.” So many of the tales interwoven in this novel are told through the body. I’m curious to know how does the flesh experience–since this is such a visceral and at times violent set of interlocked stories–how does flesh dictate the telling of the novel as opposed to chronology? I’d love to hear the panelists discuss how the body dictates their work.

Pineda: Spoke of how the character of that passage is broken, dealing with his past and the scars, the wreckage of his life. Being mestizo his work deals around the body and especially when he thinks about transitions, and the space the characters inhabit, the body is a point he is constantly meditating on as a device.

Igloria: Emphasized how memory and lyric dwell in the same house. There is always a physical reference point. She recalled how as a child she asked for bedtime stories all the time so her mother started to make them up. The ear was the receptacle, receiving those stories, a physical reference point. Then there were the rituals impressed upon her in youth and up to motherhood from the menstruation rites of adolescence to the tradition of tying the umbilical cords of your children together to ensure they stayed close as they grew older.

Tenorio– Touched on the body in his story “The View from Culion” about a leper colony and the body was very much a point of reference in his story “The Brothers” of which one of the characters was transitioning to female before an untimely death. For him, these specific instances are when the subject matter needs to be rendered by the body. But his stories are not any kind of social documentary on what the body means for a specific experience or expectation. And he noted how one reviewer had called his stories “generic” as if the critic had been anticipating some sense of being transported.

This led to my next question about the sticky issues of authenticity and outside expectations. How did these writers deal with anticipations of others to be representative of preconceived notions about culture and place.

Pineda: Was very truthful and straightforward, calling those expectations ridiculous. He writes from an emotional place and dares to write about certain places even if he’s never been there before.

Igloria: Touched on the sense of complexity, how a writer of diaspora is like the turtle that carries its home with it. Geography is shared but not the only defining element to a work. She emphasized that a writer can limit herself if shes only thinking of geography as a setting when it really serves as an emotional space. Take advantage of the psychology of a space, she encourages.

Pineda: Believes that to have to prove you’re an ambassador or making a nod to a type of individual, well, that makes him think of the kid who gave the Google camera the finger. “The more I write the more I don’t want to care about outside expectations,” he added. “Maybe it comes from twenty years of rejection.” Its nice to get a review but he writes for the connection with the reader. It could be the Catholic in him he explains, this desire for communion but that’s what he aims for.

Igloria: Asked to recalibrate that question and instead posed what are we most curious about? Writing is trying to answer mysterious ineffable questions, that don’t jibe with outside expectations of readership. Its about trying to find emotional truth, trying to seek that thing that will feed a more basic urge.

Tenorio: Urged just write. “They say write what you know, but think I its admirable to write what you don’t know.” There are so many different levels of identity, he focuses on what is useful for the writing.

How has family shaped you as a writer? What memories or experiences in childhood and with family serve as foundational in terms of what inspires you to write and what you write about?

Igloria: Grew up in a kitchen and recounted a story when her family had taught her to peel lima beans at a very young age, so she peeled them all, one by one. And she tells her students to this day thar was her very first lesson in writing because of the time and focused attention required to do something so detailed and miniscule. These kind of domestic details were engendered in childhood, and she has to many countless stories of childhood and family to share.

Tenorio: Explained that he doesn’t write autobiographically. His life is not in his writing though the conflicts that his characters face may be emotionally autobiographical or similar to what he’s seen in himself or his siblings who had it harder to adjust to life in a new country.

Pineda: Spoke of his grandfather’s stories of Japanese Occupation and his father’s. Both were great story tellers, and it wasn’t until later when he learned of tales that his father had been holding out on because he believed if they were shared too soon then Pineda would try and replicate them. The basis of these stories were their intensity.

Finally, these panelists were almost stumped with the last question, which was what is the perfect meal after a long day’s worth of writing or what is the best dish or meal to sit down to after a day of writing?:

Tenorio: A gin martini.
Pineda: A coconut steamer or a Guinness.
Igloria: Wants something really simple like ampalaya, pinakbet. And she stated, “I do like me some coffee, at beginning, the middle and end.”

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Cecilia Manguerra Brainard, my leading lady, plus me.
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Hot Off the Press Literary Reading with Angela Narciso Torres

Re-thinking Panel Questions for Writing Our Way Home: Shaping Tradition, History and Culture” at SFPL this coming Saturday, October 19, 3-4pm.

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With only hours away, the questions are being finalized, some of them reconsidered for audience and accessibility thanks to a heads up from Lysley Tenorio about audience.
Proving once again that a writer’s work is never done, below are the revised questions, which will probably be tweaked and re-tweaked a few more times before put to the panel which includes Luisa A. Igloria (poetry), Jon Pineda (poetry, memoir, fiction), and Lysley Tenorio (fiction).
Fil Am Book Fest II is going to be an impressive and inspiring literary love fest. Here’s hoping to do the writers justice!
  • How do you start? When do you know you’ve come to the end?
  • Luisa Igloria’s newest collection The Saints of Streets (UST Publishing house, 2013) are comprised mainly of narrative poems. Can we talk about genre and shuttling among forms since Pineda has written a memoir, poetry, and a novel, Lysley moving from short fiction to a novel and Luisa focusing most recently on narrative within poetry?
  • How has family shaped you as a writer? What memories or experiences in childhood and with family serve as foundational in terms of what inspires you to write and what you write about?
  • Currently reading Pineda’s Apology, so his novel is forefront in my mind and specifically this quote: “It was not a dream, though it felt like one. A beautiful piece of memory that could make him cry. Exequiel woke now, feverish. Out of his head. He summoned it from the faint scar woven in the bottom of his foot. A story hidden in the flesh.” So many of the tales interwoven in this novel are told through the body. I’m curious to know how does the flesh experience–since this is such a visceral and at times violent set of interlocked stories–how does flesh dictate the telling of the novel as opposed to chronology? I’d love to hear the panelists discuss how the body dictates their work.
  • In Tenorio’s story “Felix Starro” the narrator contemplates age, time, and space, “I had turned nineteen three weeks before, on the plane to America. But I didn’t know exactly when it happened–that whole time in the sky I wasn’t sure if it was today or tomorrow, which country was ahead or behind and by how many hours or days…” Can you talk about geography and place. Is there as the title of the panel and conference suggests, a way to write home?
  • In D.R.M. Irving’s book on musical history of the Philippines, Colonial Counterpoint: Music in Early Modern Manila, (Oxford University Press, 2010) he posits that Manila during the 16th and 17th centuries became the first truly cosmopolitan city, linking the East with the West, the old world of Spain with the new world of New Spain in Mexico. Since each of your works are arguably transnational, do you feel that you speak to a new cosmopolitanism or that you might be  cosmopolitan yourself?
  • In the collection of essays Not Home But Here: Writing from the Filipino Diaspora, Luisa Igloria writes in her introduction of the “academic residence.” Might the panelists speak on multi-residences, be they academic, artistic, personal, familial, etc. and how they inform or influence your writing or shape the different self/selves as academic, writer, Filipino?
  • Who are you reading now?
  • What is the best dish or meal to sit down to after a day of writing?

Prepping for FilAm Book Fest II: 19 October 3-4pm @ SFPL

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In less than two weeks, yours truly will be moderating the panel “Writing Our Way Home: Shaping Tradition, History and Culture” with Luisa Igloria, Jon Pineda, and Lysley Tenorio, as part of the Filipino American International Book Festival (Filbookfest 2)- Likhâ ng Lahi. Writing Our Way Home: Shaping Tradition, History and Culture, taking place during LitQuake on October 18–20, 2013 at the San Francisco Public Library, Main Branch, 100 Larkin Street, San Francisco, CA 94102.

Prepping has been a challenge not just in angling for an engaging approach to the fest’s theme, but in the mission impossible task of carving out time to review these luminaries’ work.

Dipping in and out of the titles Juan Luna’s Revolver, (University of Notre Dame Press, 2009) poetry by Luisa Igloria who also edited the collection of essays in Not Home, But Here: Writing From The Filipino Diaspora (Anvil, 2003), Jon Pineda’s Apology: A Novel (Milkweed National Fiction Prize, 2013), his memoir Sleep In Me (American Lives) and revisiting Lysley Tenorio’s Monstress (Ecco, 2011), some of the questions that have surfaced, which may or may not be put to the panel are as follows:

  • Currently reading Pineda’s Apology, so his novel is forefront in my mind and specifically this quote: “It was not a dream, though it felt like one. A beautiful piece of memory that could make him cry. Exequiel woke now, feverish. Out of his head. He summoned it from the faint scar woven in the bottom of his foot. A story hidden in the flesh.” So many of the tales interwoven in this novel are told through the body and since the author shifts in time and out of sequence, I’m curious to know how does the flesh experience–since this is such a visceral and at times violent set of interlocked stories–how does flesh dictate the telling of the novel as opposed to chronology? I’d love to hear the panelists discuss how the body in space and time shape if not dictate their work.
  • In the past couple of years, The Guardian has touched upon the evolving idea of post-post- colonialism, and in the review published November 2009 of Zadie Smith’s Changing My Mind Peter Conrad explores the topic:

Having hybrid identities, not belonging anywhere or indeed belonging everywhere, may have its advantages, but these attributes must still contend with pressing circumstances like the voraciousness of 21st-century capitalism. Far from floating free in a state of unbelonging, most people are trapped in predetermined social and political positions; they must act within the history that surrounds them. The possession of multiple selves and voices doesn’t seem to be helping — and may even be inhibiting —

Each of the authors deal with disembodied and disparate identities that more often than not are detached from geography and statehood in various ways. What if anything does the term post-post-colonialism and post-post-modernism mean to them? Do they think about these critical theories when they write or when they envision a place and space for their writing?

  • In D.R.M. Irving’s book on musical history of the Philippines, Colonial Counterpoint: Music in Early Modern Manila, (Oxford University Press, 2010) he posits that Manila during the 16th and 17th centuries became the first truly cosmopolitan cities and cultures, linking the East with the West, the old world of Spain with the new world of New Spain in Mexico. Since the work of these authors are so fluid and essentially transnational, do they feel they are a part of new cosmopolitanism or that they are cosmopolitans themselves? How would they define these terms, especially in relation to the Philippines history as an early nexus of transculturation and cosmopolitanism?
  • Luisa Igloria in the collection of essays she edited Not Home But Here: Writing from the Filipino Diaspora, writes in her introduction of the “academic residence.” Since each of the panelists are writers and professors in academia, this idea of multiple residences may complicate or conflate the idea of multiple selves. Not only do we have so many selves or “splinters of selves” as Virginia Woolf called it, but we also have many residences, whether they be academic, artistic, personal, familial, etc. Might the panelists speak on these multi-selves and multi-residences, how they inform their writing, when and how they place themselves in any given condition or context, and how the multiple residences affect the process of writing?
  • We might also talk about the different genres and crossing over or not.

Perhaps there are burning questions you might put to the panelists or suggested subjects? Here’s to welcoming your ideas. Hope to see you at the FilAm Book Fest II.

More on the panel forthcoming…

Please spread the word and mark your calendars: 19 October, 3-4pm “Writing Our Way Home: Shaping Tradition, History and Culture”

Excited to be a part of this upcoming October weekend event. Yours truly will be moderating the panel “Writing Our Way Home: Shaping Tradition, History and Culture” with Luisa Igloria, Jon Pineda, Lysley Tenorio. Hope to see you there! For more info, click here.

Filipino American International Book Festival (Filbookfest 2)

Likhâ ng Lahi. Writing Our Way Home: Shaping Tradition, History and Culture

October 18–20, 2013 • San Francisco Public Library, Main Branch • 100 Larkin Street, San Francisco, CA 94102

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Where I learned of the badgering hour: June 2013 at Hawthornden Castle, Part I

Hawthornden from the Lady Walk
Hawthornden Castle from the Lady Walk

Forty five minutes outside of Edinburgh, tucked in a hidden pocket of Midlothian, sits a 15th century castle where I spent my June at the Hawthornden International Retreat for Writers. Not even the bus drivers knew of the castle. Kept a secret, deep in a Scottish glen, the ruins, renovated in Victorian-era, were tipped on a crag overlooking the River Esk, and here I continued my ongoing education of reading and writing for a summer month.

But the story doesn’t start here.

If we were to go all the way back, it would have opened two years ago when at a faculty gathering poet and friend Raina León prodded me to apply. Get thee to a writing residency was her imperative, and she clued me in on this gem of a fellowship with a low profile at Hawthornden Castle. Thank you, Raina.

This fellowship is sponsored and run by the great patronage of Drue Heinz of the Heinz company. Publisher of The Paris Review, she established the Drue Heinz Literature Prize and the Drue Heinz Lectures in Pennsylvania. Deepest gratitude goes to Ms. Heinz and her staff.

There is no magic I know of that got me to Scotland for a month of committed writing. Persistence and focus is what I brought to the table. Applications to these residencies are something like gearing up for grad school. Long and involved forms that demand you know who you are, letters of recc to prove you are who you say you are, and a writing sample that speaks to enough people on the committees that matter. I’ve been applying to residencies off and on since grad school, which means I’ve lived in hope for over six years. Let me say again, persistence and focus.

The Pentland Hills and sun
The Pentland Hills in the distance

The plane trip from San Francisco to Edinburgh was another test of patience: ten hours trying to sleep upright, a three hour layover in Charles de Gaulle, where splurging on Lauderée French macaroons was worth every euro, and a final two hours that seemed like forever before touching down in Scotland.

The sun still had a good hour to set when I finally arrived around 10pm, which I would later learn was the badgering hour. Jet-lagged and frazzled, I met two of the writers who I would live with for the next four weeks, one of whom was an East Coaster turned Bay Area based. She happened to know many of my colleagues and writer friends back in California and thankfully made me feel that much closer to home despite being a continent and ocean away.

***

property of the Abernethy family from the 13th century
The castle garden

Born to John Drummond, the first laird at Hawthornden Castle, William Drummond (1585-1649) turned laird of the castle himself at 24 when his father died. A poet and historian, William Drummond read well and widely, tackling the History of Scotland during the Reigns of the Five Jameses as one of his many literary works. Over 400 years later, in his study, a room where he was known to pace between tackling quill to paper, I stared out the window that overlooked the gravel driveway, pulled my hair out rearranging scenes and crossing out swathes of paragraphs, and dragged myself to bed, willing myself to sleep at midnight even as the last sun rays still poked their way through the west-facing window.

Flowers in the sun
On the walk to the bus stop

On the first full day since my arrival, still adjusting to UK time, I woke at 5:30am to metallic squabbling and screeching of what I thought to be baby dinosaurs nesting right outside my western window. One bird would start up and then her siblings, would follow in discordant chorus. Almost every morning, afternoon, and early evening was graced with their shrill choir, and not only did I viscerally experience the scientific fact of how birds are cousin to pterodactyls and triceratops, but I understood how quickly and deeply I’d been thrust into nature. The castle was immersed in all things wondrous.

Evenings made the badgering hour when the lawn in front of the castle became a buffet table for a family of five hungry badgers. Stags, doe, and their fawns were frequently spotted on the road that led to the castle. Peregrines learned to fly just across the river, and we watched them from the castle garden at lunch time as they tested their wings. Spiders insisted rather persistently to claim the sinks and bathtubs as their resting spots. They were known to creep up cozy into our beds on more than one occasion.

***

I never knew I could be so jealous of poets.

The town of Roslin
The town of Roslin

These daily and nightly encounters with all things feathered, eight-legged, doe-eyed, antlered, and winged charged the poets, and they wrote with a sense of immediacy that doesn’t really jibe with long form fiction. One evening, a bat flew into the drawing room, circling over our heads for a good seven minutes. We tried to guide it out the window, but s/he seemed to enjoy our company more. Eventually, tiring of us, s/he took to an open casement and was gone. The next day, all three poets reported writing poems of our vespertine encounter. I hadn’t ever felt so keenly envious of poesie writers up until then. What I would have given to slip out of time for a day or two, to step away from my projekt and write in attendance to the here and now with such urgency? Fictions writers, particularly those noveling are stuck in another time zone and geography that rarely meshes with the present moment. We are caught in a loop of our own making.

***

We were there to write.

And we did. Everyday,  at least six days a week, from eight in the morning to at least five in the evening. Oh, there were mid-day strolls along the castle grounds listening to the songbird soundtrack that ran from sun up to sun down, late afternoon jogs on the Old Railway to Dalkeith, and jaunts to Lasswade’s The Laird & Dog pub, which was the closest and easiest access to Wi-Fi. All sworn to an informal oath of silence while in the castle, Hawthornden’s motto was “Requiescat in Pace,” and from nine in the morning to six in the evening, we maintained relative quiet, so all writers could work in peace and decent ease.

River Esk
The River Esk

With no internet access, limited mobile service, and a vow to abstain from talking, the task of writing wasn’t necessarily easier but the setting secured focus and commitment to both the projekt at hand and the vital art in which all writing thrives, the act of reading. In a recent Guardian article “publicising a novel – the problems,” (Thursday 25 July 2013) Anakana Scholfield speaks to an issue close to this heart:

…why is there so much fuss in the media about how to write a novel – “everyone can become an author” – when the more important thing is how to read one?

There seems to have been a shift from a reading culture to a writing culture, a diminishment of critical space for the contemplation of literature. Writing needs to be discussed and interrogated through reading. If you wish to write well, you need to read well, or at least widely. You certainly need to contemplate reading a book in translation, unlikely to be widely reviewed in newspapers, many of which are too busy wasting space on “how to write” tips and asking about an author’s personal fripperies. It’s a great deal more fulfilling to read and think about a fine book than to attempt to write one.

Six years into the projekt, reading is the through line that keeps this writer grounded as the shape and meaning of the story collapses, condenses, and often over complicates itself, constantly morphing like land shifting under volatile forces. To write is to read. There’s no way around it. But how to keep up the art? How to maintain the necessary strength and focus for such a vital skill? You’d think that as one grows older, reading would become easier, but it doesn’t. Its just as much of a challenge as it ever was. Technology and the ten million distractions aren’t just to blame. The old adage the more I learn, the less I know seems to confound the reading eye. The mind skitters, won’t settle but jumps with expectations, preconceived notions, rather than sitting with words, images, sentences. Slowing down to savor syllables seems a fleeting wish. The reading mind must be taught and re-taught, and taught again. Its a muscle that can easily atrophy.

Reading at Hawthornden was s-l-o-w. As it should be.

Decades into becoming a “professional” reader, its hard to come to literature with an open mind. The more one reads, the more layered the lenses the reading eye gains and cannot shake away. So we must learn to read through prisms, knowing these prisms can be switched, combined, simplified, or complicated.

Prismatic. Requiring constant practice. The conjoined arts of reading and writing remained the main focus, but not the only activities at Hawthornden. There were encounters with Crusties, treks to the Pentland Peaks, and day trips to Edinburgh. But that’s all to come next…

For another a peek at the Hawthornden experience, check out poet and professor Gregory Leadbetter’s post “After Hawthornden” on his site.

Midlothian wheat
Roslin Glen Park in the distance

Save the Date: “Life After the MFA Panel” @ SMC 11/20/13

Interested in writing fellowships and residencies? Yours truly has been booked in advance to talk about recent fellowships at The MacDowell Colony and the International Retreat for Writers at Hawthornden Castle in Scotland UK for Saint Mary’s College of California’s MFA Creative Writing Program Panel: “Life After the MFA” Wednesday, 20 November, 2:35pm, location on campus TBA.

Hope to see you there!

1928 Saint Mary’s Road, Moraga, CA 94556 (925) 631-4000